I came to terms with having to work full time instead of being a stay at home mom a long time ago. I believe moms should be able to stay home or work without having to feel guilty or argue about which is better. It's a truly personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves. I like being able to have an "outside" life separate from my family. I find I am have a tendency to feel smothered and isolated when I don't work outside the house.
Inevitably, though, there are some times that I absolutely feel as if I am missing out on my children's lives and it makes me extremely depressed. My 5 year old will be having his class Halloween Party next week, and I was hoping to be able to leave work early to go. I was so excited and was making all sorts of plans for early trick or treating after the party. Unfortunately, I just found out that my co-worker will be taking the day off, which means I probably won't be able to leave early. I'm not a big cry-baby, but I almost burst into tears when I found out.
I should know better, I should have gone to my manager and asked for the time off last week, but I put it off. And maybe, just maybe, I still might be able to work something out. My mom's already planning on going, so at least someone will make the party, which will make my son happy. But as of right this moment, my heart is broken and I the song that is playing in my head is: "It's the End of the World as We Know It".
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