Happy Frakkin' New Years

So it's that time of year again when one is supposed to resolve to do better - and I am already behind. Every year I waffle back and forth over whether to make resolutions or not. On the one hand, I understand that it is good to set goals and visualize and plan to make them happen. You can't just expect these wonderful things to transpire without planning, right? On the other hand, I am realistic enough to realize that I go way overboard and set too many goals, or choose things that I know I should do but don't really want to.

Here's what I feel like my resolution list should probably be:

1. Quit Smoking - yes, I am one of the evil smokers, but as I always say: "MY not smoking may be hazardous to YOUR health!"
2. Lose 20 lbs - I could probably do this just by cutting out my Pepsi intake but then life wouldn't be worth living
3. Keep the house cleaner - I still keep hoping Daddy Warbucks will adopt me and pay for a live-in housekeeper/cook
4. Be more organized - see #3
5. Meditate daily - the flute music on my guided meditation cd's keeps putting me to sleep
6. Cut back on stupid TV shows - do I really need to watch the Food Network channel as much as I do when I can't even plan a weekly menu for my own family?
7. Be a nicer, more positive person - not possible if I quit smoking & drinking Pepsi

Etc., etc., etc.  I could keep going but it probably ain't gonna happen.

Here's a much more realistic list for me:

1. Do not smoke while sleeping - believe it or not, this is how many house fires are started, but I think I can do it
2. Lose approximately 170 lbs - my oldest son will be 18 in May and is counting the days until he can move out
3. Do dishes and laundry as soon as we run out of spoons/underwear
4. Be more organized - see #3
5. Fall asleep nightly to my guided meditation cd's
6. DVR "Duck Dynasty"
7. Pet the dog once a day and not flip off every asshole driver I see

Now these I can do, but seeing as how I already do them, it's really not much of a challenge.

I have seen how some people are just picking one all encompassing word to focus on for the new year. You have to pick a word that simplifies all your desires and makes it easier to accomplish. The first word that came to mind for me was "Survive". However, that's what I've been doing and it really doesn't sound all that positive, so maybe I should try to spin it to make it sound better. Should I instead pick "Live" or "Breathe"? Then I remembered that I have a doctor's appointment coming up next week to get a new prescription for anti-depressants, so I think my word of the year will be "Lexapro" or "Medicated".

I'm pretty sure that will make my family happy.