Loosely Based On

I've always loved stories that are "based on true events" or characters that are "loosely based" on real people. I guess I never really understood the concept that a character can be based on a real person without being exactly who that person is. I'm beginning to see how weird it can be, though, when those real people or events are people you know or events you've been through yourself. It turns out that it can be very surreal and even a little uncomfortable.

One of my former high school teachers, Robert Spiller, is now a published author and has written a series of mysteries loosely based on my high school, the area I live in and people I know. The man is one of the most talented people I have ever met. He has always been a brilliant storyteller in addition to being a math genius, singer, songwriter, etc. I had him for Geometry and Basic (you know, computer language before there was this little thing called Microsoft Windows). He would occasionally take time away from our lessons to tell these wonderful stories. Usually they were a little gross and disturbing, and we all ate it up. 

I was so excited when I found out that not only was he writing these mystery books, but that he picked our school and one of our teachers to use as his inspiration. He had taught in several other locations, so it felt special that we were the ones he picked. But, to be completely honest, it has made it a little hard to actually focus on the stories. I like to get lost in my reading, to be transported to a different place, but because I know the place I'm reading about, now I tend to get lost in the details. Just for the record, not one of these books is based on any real murders. We don't go around killing people out here in the boonies, but there are enough real life details in the stories to make them feel real to me.

Take the setting, for instance. When Mr. Spiller (he was my teacher, so that's how I still think of him) describes the high school hallways, common area, gym, classrooms, etc., I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DESCRIBING. I don't need to imagine it because I lived/live there. Not only is it the school I went to, in almost exact detail, it is the same school my children now go to.  Same goes for the many other locations he uses in the books: landmarks, highways, stores and towns. These are places I drive by every day.

What has been hardest for me to adjust to is the characters. The main character, Bonnie Pinkwater, is a math genius teacher who solves murders. This character is based off a real person who Mr. Spiller became very good friends with during his tenure at our little school. Not only was she my advanced math teacher, I have known her all my life. My mother was also a teacher in the district from the time she was pregnant with me, so I grew up knowing most of the teachers before ever having them in class. I have been to her house; I went to school with and graduated with her kids. The similarities between this teacher and the character are obvious.  It's the differences that get me. I can picture this wonderful lady's face in my head, but then "Bonnie" will say or do something in the book that I would never, in a million years, think that the real person would say or do. I believe I actually gasped out loud a couple of times. I'm telling you, it can be really weird! Not that it's anything bad, it's just that the "character" can be so "out of character" for the real person.

The third book in the series was actually a little painful for me to read on a personal level. I would be willing to bet money that I know the person that the murder victim was loosely based on. (This person is still very much alive by the way. Like I said, no real murders here!) That person was a good friend of mine in high school, and the struggles and prejudice the victim was exposed to in the book reminded me of the real life struggles and pain of my friend. Without meaning to, it brought back memories and resentments, and this was upsetting to me.

Now I am working on the fourth book. I've actually had it for awhile, but had been putting off reading it because I knew one of the pivotal events in the book is a tornado that demolishes the high school. This tornado really happened and our high school really was destroyed. I live only 2 miles away and remember the events as if they happened yesterday. I will never forget watching the hail come down in one direction in the front of my house and then seeing that it was coming down in the opposite direction in the back of my house. While my house was spared except for some hail damage, I have many friends and family who lost houses or vehicles or suffered major damage. Fortunately, no one died and we have rebuilt, but it was a very traumatic experience for our community.

Today, I got through the portion of the book where the tornado hits the school with Bonnie inside. I cried. I keep picturing the real person inside all that destruction, and it terrifies me. Bonnie survives (thank goodness!) and as she is surveying the damage, she comes across a wall that is amazingly still standing. It holds the basketball jersey of an exceptional basketball player who led her team to back to back state championships. This part of the story is also true. No one was in the school at the time of the tornado, but this wall was still standing. The basketball player is a real person. She is my sister's best friend, and I just spent the day with her a couple of months ago and got to meet her beautiful new baby. It's these little details that I find hard to let go.

Now, please, don't get me wrong, these are amazingly written books and I think everyone should read them. It just has given me a different perspective on stories that are based on true events. How painful must it be for survivors/families of 9-11 to see stories about that tragic event? Or soldiers' families? I hope I never have to find out.

Happy Frakkin' New Years

So it's that time of year again when one is supposed to resolve to do better - and I am already behind. Every year I waffle back and forth over whether to make resolutions or not. On the one hand, I understand that it is good to set goals and visualize and plan to make them happen. You can't just expect these wonderful things to transpire without planning, right? On the other hand, I am realistic enough to realize that I go way overboard and set too many goals, or choose things that I know I should do but don't really want to.

Here's what I feel like my resolution list should probably be:

1. Quit Smoking - yes, I am one of the evil smokers, but as I always say: "MY not smoking may be hazardous to YOUR health!"
2. Lose 20 lbs - I could probably do this just by cutting out my Pepsi intake but then life wouldn't be worth living
3. Keep the house cleaner - I still keep hoping Daddy Warbucks will adopt me and pay for a live-in housekeeper/cook
4. Be more organized - see #3
5. Meditate daily - the flute music on my guided meditation cd's keeps putting me to sleep
6. Cut back on stupid TV shows - do I really need to watch the Food Network channel as much as I do when I can't even plan a weekly menu for my own family?
7. Be a nicer, more positive person - not possible if I quit smoking & drinking Pepsi

Etc., etc., etc.  I could keep going but it probably ain't gonna happen.

Here's a much more realistic list for me:

1. Do not smoke while sleeping - believe it or not, this is how many house fires are started, but I think I can do it
2. Lose approximately 170 lbs - my oldest son will be 18 in May and is counting the days until he can move out
3. Do dishes and laundry as soon as we run out of spoons/underwear
4. Be more organized - see #3
5. Fall asleep nightly to my guided meditation cd's
6. DVR "Duck Dynasty"
7. Pet the dog once a day and not flip off every asshole driver I see

Now these I can do, but seeing as how I already do them, it's really not much of a challenge.

I have seen how some people are just picking one all encompassing word to focus on for the new year. You have to pick a word that simplifies all your desires and makes it easier to accomplish. The first word that came to mind for me was "Survive". However, that's what I've been doing and it really doesn't sound all that positive, so maybe I should try to spin it to make it sound better. Should I instead pick "Live" or "Breathe"? Then I remembered that I have a doctor's appointment coming up next week to get a new prescription for anti-depressants, so I think my word of the year will be "Lexapro" or "Medicated".

I'm pretty sure that will make my family happy.

Working Mom Blues

I came to terms with having to work full time instead of being a stay at home mom a long time ago.  I believe moms should be able to stay home or work without having to feel guilty or argue about which is better. It's a truly personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves. I like being able to have an "outside" life separate from my family. I find I am have a tendency to feel smothered and isolated when I don't work outside the house.

Inevitably, though, there are some times that I absolutely feel as if I am missing out on my children's lives and it makes me extremely depressed. My 5 year old will be having his class Halloween Party next week, and I was hoping to be able to leave work early to go. I was so excited and was making all sorts of plans for early trick or treating after the party. Unfortunately, I just found out that my co-worker will be taking the day off, which means I probably won't be able to leave early. I'm not a big cry-baby, but I almost burst into tears when I found out.

I should know better, I should have gone to my manager and asked for the time off last week, but I put it off. And maybe, just maybe, I still might be able to work something out. My mom's already planning on going, so at least someone will make the party, which will make my son happy. But as of right this moment, my heart is broken and I the song that is playing in my head is: "It's the End of the World as We Know It".

Books, Books & More Books

Ever since I got my new Kindle Fire, I've been reading up a storm. Audio books, library books, free downloaded Amazon books, you name it, I'm reading it.

My favorite genre is Sci Fi/Fantasy, but I've decided that it's time to branch out and try some new types. However, I had no idea where to start. I thought I would check out the internet for recommended reading and from there I've created lists of books to read. (More OCD, anyone?) I think I went a little overboard, though. I don't think I'll ever get through all of these lists! I already had lists started for my favorite authors: Madeline L'Engle, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Terry Brooks and Anne McCaffery. Now I've added more:

• Oprah's Book Club (Crap, now she's got Book Club 2.0, guess it's time to update again)
• NPR's Top 100 Science Fiction Books (so much for branching out)

There's another couple of lists that I've lost the links for, but include "classics" such as "The Great Gatsby". Most of what I've read I've really enjoyed, but I find that I still really lean towards the sci fi books. Of course, once I finish reading a good book, I look for the movie on Netflix, but that's a different list obsession for another day.

Happy Reading!

Look What I Did!

When I was younger I used to spend a lot of time painting my nails with unique (for me) designs and colors. I always loved doing it, but as I got older and had less time for myself, I stopped doing it. Oh, I would occasionally get a wild hair and do something, but for the most part I stopped painting my nails completely.

Recently, I had the urge to paint some designs again, and looked on the internet for some ideas and inspiration. My Goodness, there are a lot of really talented people out there! So while I am not nearly so gifted with artistic abilities, I did manage to design something that I am very happy with.

Watchya think? Not too shabby for an amateur, eh?

Yellowstone Vacation

Every year we try to take a family vacation. This year we couldn't agree on our destination, so we let our five year old pick. He chose Yellowstone. We had taken our oldest son there about nine years ago, but the little one had never been, so we let him have his way.

If you have never been to Yellowstone, add it to your to-do list. It is an amazing and surprising place. It was nothing like I expected. I grew up in Colorado where we have lots of mountains, lakes, parks, and forests, and I guess I expected to see the same things in Yellowstone. Don't get me wrong, it has all of those things, but it also has so much more!

What makes Yellowstone so unique? It is located in a giant volcanic caldera, or supervolcano. It is the largest supervolcano on our continent and is active. Half of the world's geothermal features, such as geysers, hot springs, mud pots and fumaroles are found here. It is like being on a different planet in places. The first time we went, in 2003, there was so much new volcanic activity going on, that some of the features were closed to visitors. They were recording ground temperatures over 200 degrees in these places. The geysers were all erupting more often than usual and we saw so much that was so super cool. This time, there wasn't near as much activity, which was a little disappointing, but we still had a great time.

One of the other great things about Yellowstone is the wildlife. Being from Colorado, I'm used to seeing lots of wildlife, but I have never seen so many different types so close to each other in one day. Our first day there we saw: a moose, grizzly bear, elk, bison, canadian geese and pelicans. Over the course of our visit, we would see many more bison, elk, some deer, antelope and we think we even saw the outline of a wolf chasing a bison herd. Of course, you also see a whole lot of stupid humans trying to get as close as possible to the animals for a great picture. Not the brightest, people!

The one thing that really disappointed me was the mountains. I have not really spent a lot of time outside of Colorado, and I always assumed that other places had mountains like we do. I was really wrong! So far, I have seen nothing to rival our wonderful Colorado mountain ranges. I always laugh when I see the t-shirts they sell in Yellowstone that say: Got Oxygen, Elevation 8,000 feet. We get these t-shirts in Colorado, and for us, 8,000 feet is nothing. My son works at a restaurant on Mt. Evans by Idaho Springs at over 10,000 feet. Of course, Mt. Evans is one of the many Fourteener's here in Colorado, and I never realized how many of them we have here in Colorado. I will not take them for granted any more!

So if you've ever thought about going to Yellowstone but haven't, please do it. If you like nature and walking, it's ideal. If you don't like the Great Outdoors, you probably won't like it, but we had a wonderful time!

School Year's Resolutions

Tomorrow is the first day of school for both of my kids. My 17 year old will be a senior and my 5 year old will be in Kindergarten. For those of you who just did the math in their heads, here goes:

Yes, my children are 12 years apart.

No, we didn't plan it that way.

Yes, they have the same father (and mother).

Yes, we understand what causes this.

No, we do not plan on doing this every 12 years.

Ok, so now that that's out of the way...

Every year I make "School Year Resolutions". This is going to be the year that I will be organized, prepared and everything will go like clockwork.  I will:

• Make the kids go to bed at a decent hour
• Make healthy breakfasts/lunches every day
• Get up at a decent hour so we can be on time and clean
• Check homework/paperwork every night
• Keep in contact with teachers to make sure the boys are doing well

Unfortunately, I am so much better at planning than doing. I've never before been able to accomplish this with one kid in school, and now I've got two.

Please wish me luck. Or send lots of wine if you feel inclined to do so.